Okay, I guess I can understand why “God damn it” would be a big no-no to our pals in the Religious Right TM, given the whole ten commandments thing, but why should they care about good old-fashioned Anglo-Saxon cussing?
(Honestly, if you’re offended by allegedly “foul” language, you might want to stop right here. On the other hand, you might gain a new outlook.)
Because of family connections and other accidents, there are a few devout Christian readers of this site, and for that I am grateful. The number of venues in which religious and not can meet and discuss is small and getting smaller. I can hurl invective with the best of them, but Lordy, it would be nice to have a dialogue.
I don’t want to drive anyone off, but this seems like a fitting topic for a rant.
The Onion once had a great article by a guy selling Bibles. “Why can’t I sell any of these fucking Bibles? These aren’t some cheap ass shitty Bibles. They’re fucking quality Bibles.”
The church definitely preaches that words like ”shit”, ”piss” or ”fuck” are somehow “bad”. On what scriptural basis? Why is feces not obscene, but shit is? You can say fornicate from the pulpit, but they’d throw you out for saying, “Fucking come to Jesus, y’all”.
Any theologians (or English majors for that matter) who can clarify this for me?
On the theme of tradition vs. scripture, I had to throw in the old joke:
Q. Why don’t Baptists make love standing up?
A. Someone might see them and think they were dancing.
And my brother Steve’s line of artificial swearing:
“Got dandruff! And some of it itches!”
Friday, November 30, 2007
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5 comments:
everyone keeps saying lucia's first word is going to be "bastards!"
this would be due to my untamed tongue,
which was brought up in an evangelical environment,
so i haven't had this experience, (except for one year in chicago, where aaron and i got in trouble for a lot less)
i personally don't like it when every other word is fuck, because it's vulgar,
but i don't think swearing is a big deal, as long as people are able to clean it up when needed
have you heard kathy griffin imitate her catholic parents?
"God damn it why you have to bring Jesus into it, son of a bitch"
(this was after her Emmy speech, which i thought was pretty funny)
also the school i use to work at was the most cursing environment i have ever been in, and it was run by two catholic boy scouts (literally) everyone ate fish on Fridays, went to mass and had the most creative strings of cursing i have ever heard
Yeah,
as long as swearing doesn't dumb down the language. Ya know, like using fuck for every conceivable thought.
That fucking fuck, he fucked that fucking fucker up! Fuck!
On the other hand, swearing is funny.
Fuck!
Like David Sedaris' brother, the Rooster.
"When times look bad, and ain't nothing to do, you just gotta say Fuck it, and eat some motherfucking candy."
to show you how insecure (to quote paula) i am, i'm going to assume that it's been my inability to use nicer language in the last few posts that prompted this thread.
i'm so paranoid, i'm now figuring that jeff actually wrote the dirty words just so i wouldn't feel self-conscious and be afraid to show my user name in polite society, but would be smart enough to take a hint. i do have tourette's syndrome, but i don't think that counts in writing, and uncontrollable cursing isn't one of my tics anyway, just the sexy symptom that most folks know about.
i grew up in the south, surrounded by colorful language, though the f word was considered so far outside the bounds of acceptable use (for white folks, anyway) that i once got knocked off the top row of a set of bleachers by steve parker because i used the word in the presence of debbie pennington, and he felt compelled to protect her honor by nearly breaking my neck. thing is, she'd heard me say it for so long at that point that i knew she not only wasn't listening but didn't care, but, steve, being sort of new to the neighborhood, felt he had to act, ignorant redneck that he was.
i actually remember the day i learned the f word, and it will stick with me for the rest of my life. i was walking home from school - we lived in ft. walton beach, florida at the time, and i must have been in thrid grade - and this kid whose name escapes me was walking with me and, apropos of nothing, says, "do you know the word f-u-c-k?"
as i'd never heard it, but was a hell of a speller, i asked, "fuck?" "oh, my god," he says, looking around to make sure we weren't overheard, "don't say that, it's a really bad word!"
"fuck?" i repeated, feeling pretty confident that if it was as bad as that i would have heard it before then, and i was sure this guy was pulling my leg.
well, at the time this happened, mid-sixties, there was an expression that all us little kids used, not knowing, of course, that it was simply a childish euphemism for the word i'd just learned, that expression was, "oh, fudge!" i said it all the time, in much the same way that i said things like, "to the bat cave," or "up, up and away," because even then i had tourette's syndrome and had verbal tics galore. so, i walk into my house, our little cinder-block three-bedroom florida tract house, and there is nothing on my mind more pressing than walking to the fridge, opening the freezer door and grabbing a grape popsicle. and it's, truly, the only thing on my mind.
on my way into the house i notice a sears van parked outside and when i get inside, my mom intercepts me at the door as she sees me heading for the kitchen. there are a couple of guys from sears installing brand new orange shag carpet in our living room, and they happen to have the entrance to the kitchen blocked at that point.
"where do you think you're going?" my mom asks, grabbing me by the elbow.
"i'm going to the kitchen to get a popsicle." i say.
"no, you can't do that," she says, "not until the carpet men are through."
so, not knowing what else to do, i look her in the eyes and say, "oh," and i start to say fudge, but the new word pops into my head and before i can call it back, "fuck!" comes out of my mouth, just as natural as can be.
i knew instantly, from the bug-eyed, tongue-swallowing look on my mom's face that i'd fudged up, if you will. "that, that's not a bad word is it?" i asked, "some kid told it to me today, i didn't know!" but, while my mother turned red and sputtered out something about not ever saying such a horrible word ever again, i couldn't help noticing that the carpet guys were, literally, lying on the floor laughing like they were going to die. granted, they didn't have far to go, but, still, i immediately recognized that these guys were a great audience if you only had the right material.
while my mom turned on them and screamed at them about this not being funny, i ducked into my room and waited for the punishment i figured must be on its way, but, thank god, the carpet guys' laughter had focused my mother's anger somewhere else, and i was spared. she came in later to tell me that this was a word that must never be spoken again, ever, and, also, she was going to call my teacher and insist that i have nothing to do with the boy who shared the word with me, ever again.
but, still, those guys cracked up...
so, i use the f word almost without thinking about it, though i can keep it in when the company or occasion aren't conducive to its creative use, like, say, board meetings or funerals.
but, one of my favorite movies in the whole world is "the big lebowski," and i'm reminded of the scene in which sam elliott, as the stranger, is telling jeff bridges' character, the dude, how much he likes his style.
"there's just one thing, dude," the stranger asks, "do you have to use so many derned curse words?"
(a beat)
"what the fuck are you talking about, man?"
rick,
that was a good story
thank you
i love it, the carpet guys laughed,
my mum, (and she is really ashamed of this to this day) put hot sauce on my tongue for repeating words taught to me by other kids
(was it effective? i don't know, but i really like hot sauce a lot now, except for tabasco)
anne lamott has a bit in one of her books where she hears her young son playing with keys outside the door and hears him say "God Damn it"
She quickly sits him down and explains why he shouldn't say that and he responds,
"Mom, would you like to know why I said it?"
"okay"
"It's because these fucking keys don't work"
Alright!!!!
Annie! Aaron!!! to the wash room! we are going to wash out wiht soap those filthy mouths...err...typing fingers! Do you use that same keyboard to write to your grandmothers????
I can relate to these stories, but it shows my age and venue that the wrod that caused such consternation in my life was KRAP ( yes, that is how I spelled it on a paper in 5th grade and got the letter to the teacher to not let me hang out wiht the (very cute girl) who had taught me that.
5 years later, I moved to the east coast, and entered a Christian Academy. I was surprised that the kids there said the K word all the time, and being the same semanticist that Jeff is, thought it odd that this word was as acceptable as fudge, while identical words were not. So, of course, I had to prove my hypothesis, and in Miss Simil's English class, after both David and Bill Paist had said Krap a couple of times, I then used the (homonym, synonym, pair?) and was sent to the principal's office for my efforts.
Years later, after 2 years in the army ( where Aaron must have learned that poetic phrasing and where I prided myself in NOT sinking to neanerthalic verbage), i was making Enchiladas for mom and Dad who were there on a visit. I cut myself, and said ...no, yelled the most used word in the army.
silence
dropped jaws
I looked at mom, and said..."you probably aren't going to believe it when I tell you I really do never use that word?"
She didn't talk, just shook her head "no"
Last point:
Vulgar and barnyARD AND LOCKERROOM TALK REALLY, i THINK, DEFINES (oops) what is not profane...just "not nice" and unfortunately, being Christian...following the teachings and life and redemptive relations wiht Jesus has turned into "being nice"
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