We just found out that my nephew Josh was accepted at the Solebury School starting with 9th grade this fall. Growing up in Guatemala, we thought it might be helpful to get him a little Americanized. The admissions people were really taken with Josh, and worked to snag him including offering a nice chunk of financial aid. Maybe it’s because I turn 50 this month, but I found myself thinking back on being 14 and being in high school.
How much anguish could been prevented if on the first day of high school, a wealthy, successful, self-made alumni got up in an assembly and told the school how reviled, hated and abused he’d been in high school. Maybe he could tell the story and show a photo of the super popular football star who got shanked in prison after being gang raped by 12 of his closest friends.
Popularity in high school feels like the most important thing in the universe, whereas in my experience, popularity in high school seems to guarantee a life of underachieving and wondering where the hell the time went. The geeks run the world, but I was in school before Silicon Valley created geek chic.
After all the years, that’s kind of how it worked out at my school. But at the time I could only see what was in front of me, and the beautiful people just seemed so unapproachable and so serene and popular and funny. I got zero respect, had my ass kicked a few times and was made to feel very insignificant. That speaker at the assembly could have saved many, many of us years of angst.
High school is also when most of us get that hideous, stomach turning, hurts so bad it feels good insanity of falling in love. Unrequited, it’s agony and requited it’s all consuming. On weekends in summer, I always pause to think how many people are at that moment falling in love, getting that certain look, the first touch, the first kiss.
High school is also when many of us make friends that we’ll have for life, which is a first step in creating a world where we create our lives. We get issued a family; a life is what we make it. I hope Josh has the wisdom, the smarts and the good luck to end up with positive friends, a good attitude and the chance to grow into a kind, educated and purposeful man.
Good luck, Josh. You’ll need it.
2 comments:
getting sentimental on the vertex of the century?
I am hoping and praying for Josh. Added to that has been an attempt to instill ways that will add, not subtract to your desire for him. Added to that is this great opportunity of a good school. It takes some very special people to raise a child to be the man you describe, and a large dollop of grace, and I am optimistic in Joshua's case.
Thanks
Or is that nostalgia swirling in that greying dome?
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